#32 put a lemon in daves vag and tell everyone he's a sour puss
(Suggested by marisa jelas)

#31 Capture the drunken yodelling imp of Bavaria using a yoyo and a semi-clad babe
(Suggested by Van der Brew)

#30 make an iPhone from your mum's glass eye and the red Batphone from "Batman"
(Suggested by Mad_Mat)

#29 Kick Chuck Norris in the balls as hard as you can, then kiss his beardy chin.
(Suggested by Alastair)

#28 Guest star in "CSI" as Wilson Q.Picklewhip, a wealthy yet mysterious businessman
(Suggested by Mat)

#27 Explain erotic fiction to The Pope, without using the letter "B"
(Suggested by Mat)

#26 Appear in a scene of Heroes wearing muffin shoes, fighting peter.
(Suggested by Kyri)

#25 Explain the meaning of mathamatistics.
(Suggested by Davo)

#24 Sit quietly
(Suggested by DaveTheKnave)

#23 Take your girlfriend out for a nice meal for once, you cheap bastard.
(Suggested by Stephanie)

#22 shave a monkey, and then dress him up as a gay Captain Hook
(Suggested by mat)

#21 Trick Steve Buscemi into marrying Pete, the world's happiest Xenomorph.
(Suggested by Ben)

#20 Switch the Olympic flame with Ted Danson and see if anyone notices.
(Suggested by Gareth)

#19 Prove the existence of God using a paperclip and an overeaten leg of lamb.
(Suggested by Gareth)

#18 Explain to Tibet that Clive is a silverback gorilla who drives a Bedford Rascal
(Suggested by Hampy McHamper)

#17 Create a device to help Bear insert soft cheese into a leopard.
(Suggested by Marcus Corner)

#16 Beat Spock senseless with a replica of Kirk's girdle
(Suggested by GibbonMaster)

#15 Perforate an irritable mammoth using a cheese flannel and a lead trilby
(Suggested by Van der Brew)

#14 Juggle a camel and a walrus whilst waxing lyrical about the price of tofu...
(Suggested by Jon)

#13 Build a pyramid out of irregular cherry tomatoes while wearing a blue suit
(Suggested by Bimma)

#12 Slap a gorilla and wait to see what he does.
(Suggested by Dark Ramjet)

#11 Preach to a plate of angry baked beans about the dangers of farting
(Suggested by Daf)

#10 Nourish a lamb back to health after swelling it with birch granulas
(Suggested by Hagsteel)

#9 effect a regime change in the Shetlands, using special bovine powers
(Suggested by rhid)

#8 Glue your elbows together, whilst wearing a "butt hat"
(Suggested by MadMat)

#7 Worry a small ham with a deep glove made of elligeble ants from the alps
(Suggested by Jonas)

#6 Beat up Dave The Knave with a bundle of logic, telling him he's boring me.
(Suggested by Hideo Yazama)

#5 Stumble across all possible versions of yourself, then fight them.
(Suggested by Ben)

#4 Disguise yourself as a gypsy who sells washed up actors
(Suggested by Daf)

#3 Place a cask of mouse-wine into a holding cell for dripping waiters
(Suggested by DaveTheKnave)

#2 Arrive on the LOST island and save everyone from a rabid Dharma dolphin.
(Suggested by Steff)

#1 Move a disco with a forseeable gate made of angry crows
(Suggested by Jonas)