Wednesday, 29 October 2008 11:29 by MadMat
As the dreaded month of Movember draws ever nearer, it seems as good a time as any to reflect on the current crisis facing the world.
Sure, economies everywhere are crashing. The war in Iraq is still costing millions every day. Liverpool sit atop the English Premier League. All terrible, terrible things indeed.
However, I refer to that "other" important event (and to a lesser extent, a slight less important (but never-the-less topical) event): The US General Election (and also the New Zealand General Election).
That's right: AMERICA DECIDES.
Potentially leaving the fate of the Free World in the hands of some 300 million Yanks, (who have given us such greats as Cheese-Wizz in a Can, World Series of baseball and George W. "Dubya" Bush( and countless illegal Mexican's who managed to cross the border and will probably, somehow, figure out how to vote.
All bets seem to be off, as Paddy Power (Irish bookies, and Max Power's brother) have already paid out on bets for people who picked Barrack Obama would win the Presidency.
NOTE: This has NOT actually happened yet.
So, is the US, and more importantly the world, ready for Obama to lead? Sure, no person with common sense would wnt McCain/Palin in the White House for the next 4 years.
Sarah Palin, despite her "kinda like an older, slightly less attractive Tina Fey" looks and knowledge of automatic weapons, believes dinosaurs only roamed the Earth 4000 years ago! Right around the time the Egyptians were crusing down the Nile in their crocodile mobiles. Is she mad? No, she's a Christian. And looks what the last 8 years of Bible-bashing, gun-crazy, blow-them-all-to-hell politics have done.
F*ck all, thats what.
Sarah Palin's 17 year old daughter Bristol (named after, I dunno, Palin's favourite southwestern UK city?) is knocked up. At 17! By a guy called Levi! Who happily states he is a redneck (not a crime on it's own, but with compelling evidence a crime non-the-less). Apparently they're getting married, which is nice, but considering their age they won't even be able to drink at their wedding. Shame!
I hear people saying "Oh, you can't judge a parent on the mistakes their kids make."
Er, well, yeah you can! I look at a pregnant 17 year old and think "Damn, what a slut! Bet your mum's a skank too! What's her number?"
Can you honestly look at Sarah Palin and think she's done a good job as a mom when her barely legal daughter is ready to pop a sprog??? No, you can't.
And then there's John "old enough to remember when George Washington was knee high to a grasshopper" McCain, from the sandy state of Arizona.
McCain is like 100 or something, and spent most of the Vietnam War in a POW camp, having his ribs broken and eating other inmate's poo.
Now, I feel sorry he had to endure such treatment, which was so bad he can no longer lift his arms above his head.
But is this the kind of man who should be entrusted with the keys to America's 532 nuclear warheads? You know he's still pissed about what Charlie Kong did to him - I bet Vietnam get's a rocket up the arse should he get in. Plus, any President who can't throw a ball properly can't be trusted to run a country properly either.
Now, don't assume that because I dislike McCain & Palin, that I support Obama. Personally, Hillary was my choice and I think she'd have done a good job.
However, Obama is less crazy than the other 2, so he gets my vote. I know it's only a metaphorical vote, but that brings me to my next point; the world as a whole should have some say as to who gets elected. After all, like it or not, we'll be dealing with the decisions made by the new President for the next 4 years.
So, my advice is this: vote Obama, or somehow vote Hillary.
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